Rest in Trust

Life is a series of events both pleasant and difficult.  No matter how much we wish for good times, they will not prepare us for the difficult days that are bound to come. 

This means, if we are sheltered from hardship, our character will not have been honed and strengthened to face the mountain of challenge yet to come. The determination to conquer life’s challenges will be sadly lacking.

 I try to make it a habit to see myself as one who already has the victory.  It takes time and practise to see myself with my inside eyes.  Through His eyes, I see myself as a daughter of the King.  I am royalty for I have the blood of Jesus flowing through me; I have been born again of the Spirit.

I had given up my daughter for adoption when I was eighteen, lived in lies and guilt and shame for years after that and all the while my heart was breaking with the longing of wanting to know my girl.  The years progressed and I moved from one relationship to another, never at peace, never feeling like I fit anywhere.  Church was full of good people but my guilt held me captive and I was too intimidated to find a home.

During the years I wandered, feeling bereft of purpose and hope.   Inasmuch as my heart longed for right relationships, I missed the mark. All the while, my heart longed even more for intimate relationship with Jesus.

Guilt and shame kept the need of repentance hidden from me.  Yet still I persevered, persisted and pressed through until I came to the knowledge of the truth.

God’s grace has shone into the darkness of my heart and taught me to completely forgive so I may love freely.

God showed me great mercy when He gave me Bruce. A man whose heart is knit so tight to the heart of Jesus, a man gifted with wisdom, sensitivity and insight from his Father.  A man able to recognise from the beginning of our relationship my inability to hear and to provide not only the means to have hearing aids but to help me through the emotions I experienced as I wore them.  (And to patiently answer me when I ask him “what is that sound?”)

I didn’t know that as a baby I had lost much of my hearing because of a high fever.  I went through life  hearing just enough to get by and just getting by left me feeling emotionally unconnected and confused.

Today I am a hearer! I can listen intelligently and with great interest instead of with great stress and guessing at what you are saying.  No more disconnect!

We have gone beyond the hurts of our past.  We walk and clothe ourselves with His great love. Daily we feed upon the Word of God and daily He provides for our every need.  We love the Word of God and have great peace.

In the midst of the storm, we have learned that we find our rest as we trust God and continue to grow in trusting Him with our lives.

…Jesus, You called Peter out of the boat.  He may have been impetuous and wordy but he probably didn’t have a sense of great peace when he stepped out.

How did he step overboard anyway?  He swung one leg overboard at a time and found his feet resting on solidity. And he walked towards You too!  He wasn’t so amazed at the circumstances that he took his gaze off Your face.

Your gaze and glory captured his full attention and Peter walked, as he trusted.  Your glory overruled his lack of peace and it was the beginning of unswerving trust in You, his Lord and Master.

Even in his moment of failing to keep his eyes on You, he trusted You to save him from sinking.  Peter’s peace had dissipated when he cried out, “Master, save me!” yet his trust in You was strong and steadfast.  He knew You would save him.

You aren’t going to let us sink either.  We may have questions about why Bruce has been afflicted with cancer…perhaps it is to derail us from the fear of cancer touching our lives and to show us that YOU are so much greater than that which we fear. We may not even want to admit that we wonder and question the reason for this.  We yield to Your plans, purposes and ways of shaping us into the fullness of the Image of the Son.

One thing I do know, Lord, and the one thing that matters the most is that tucked in Your Word is Psalm 119:71-72  “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.  The law of Your mouth is better to me than thousands of shekels of gold and silver.”

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I have seen at The Cross (cancer clinic) -an abundance of finances does not protect a person from disease.

I have seen at the Cross-Your blood was shed to forgive all our sin, heal all our diseases.  I see at the Cross- Your blood drips red, Your blood covers us, washes us clean and we are free.

You have dealt well with us.  I can look back forty years and recognize all the ways You have directed my footsteps, walked with me and showered me with the blessing of Your intimate friendship.

You are leading us even now in the path of righteousness.  Lives of freedom and joy belong to us in Christ Jesus.

You have been our portion and Great Reward.  We have truly been experiencing the grace of Your sufficiency and I thank You.  Mold us and shape us Father, may our lives be hidden in You so others see the glory of Your love, feel the peace of Your Presence in our midst.

We love You Jesus. Your love is better than life and my lips will always sing Your praise.

Jeannie

 

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