Psalm 119:41 May your loving-kindnesses also come to me, O Lord, your salvation according to your word.
It is truly a wonder to know that when we talk to the Lord He hears and answers us. He turns His ears toward the sounds of our voice and listens as we share the most intimate secrets of our hearts. He does not turn His back on us or ignore our heart cry. He who is holy and pure, true and altogether lovely, completely without sin… expects us to be the same. I am continually amazed at how he has taken the scrub of my life and created something of great beauty. He has never left me alone while I have walked through fiery trials, He is right there in the fire and His gentle hand is refining, shaping, and perfecting me so that I might reflect the fullness of the Image of the Son.
The Truth is He is the All-consuming Fire.
Jesus is walking with my husband and me as we go through the times of fire and flood, and He holds us upright as we push our way through the rush of the waters. He scoops us up into His arms when the floodwaters of life threaten and He teaches us that when we are afraid we can trust in Him! Our flesh may appear weak but we sense the strength and power of His mighty right hand. Jesus is keeping company with my husband and me.
In a quick review of the past few months, the suicide death of our son, the diagnosis of prostate cancer, the sudden death of my Mom – I have felt the floodwaters might overcome me. The question of how do I rightly grieve each loss rolls over in my mind, how do I, when can I, give honor to their love and memory by grieving?
Being able to sit and write has taken a back seat as we have traveled from city to city to deal with each event and while I have been home, the daily demands have sometimes strangely felt too much for me. Write, maybe not, however, eyes to see and sensitivity to what He has been doing on our behalf…Yes!
The Death of Jesus Will not be for Nought.
Some nights I have been unable to sleep as my heart is overwhelmed – not by grief, as one might expect, but with a passionate longing to honor God in the shade of this valley. More than anything, I desire to honor the death of Jesus and honor the power of the blood He shed and see it appropriated in our lives. On our behalf, the death of Jesus will not be for nought.
When my body is tired, my flesh gets weak and wants to rise up and take control. The Greater One lives in me and as I yield to Him, the Spirit of God rises up in me and thankfully overcomes the pull of my flesh. I have wondered at times if my faith is enough to see us overcome this trial before us…His Voice thunders in my heart, “All you need is faith the size of a mustard seed to remove the mountain before you. Cancer is but a name and it must bow to the Greater Name of Jesus. Fear not.”
Testing Times are Precious
How precious are the times of testing, for it is then we realize that our Father is faithful to give us strength and ability to persevere and triumph in our times of testing.
The rising floodwaters began when our little dog tore his second knee ligament. I sensed immediately I was to learn a lesson from this. I felt a little bit like God because I knew that the result of the surgery Shadow would go through would be good. There was not a bit of worry or concern in my heart regarding this and I can see now that God was preparing me as He taught me some very specific lessons. I had a plan for Shadow and even though there might be discomfort and pain for a time, the outcome would be good and he would be stronger than before. God has a plan for me and even though pain and discomfort are involved, He knows that I will rise up stronger and better than I was.
Cancer, on the other hand has been a fear bringing word and I wondered how people could go through the process of it. The Lord showed me that in “going through” I am in continual motion, it is not a place we stay and my faith filled words are key to the quality of the journey. He reminded me that just recently He had shown me that:
“Worry” means, “To divide”. Worry is a verb, there is action happening but it is not the action that is of faith. Worry is something that happens on the inside of us, when our minds stew on our problems and all we see are the mountainous challenges we are facing.
The Lord gave me a dream and in it, He showed me how worry is like a spider frantically trying to connect all corners of its web so that the spider can stay in its midst trapping its prey unaware.
Worry is set to destroy and bring division within me. My faith-filled words bring destruction to those sticky strands of worry as I learn to think only on those things that are excellent and of good report and begin to speak forth words of life, words of faith. I choose to be a woman of faith, I choose to believe the Word of God and see the power of it at work in my daily life.
I ask Him daily to open my eyes so that I might see wondrous things from His Word and to show me the loving-kindnesses He showers upon my life. I am never sure what to expect and yet I have seen Him arrange divine appointments in moments of surging, unexpected grief. What has He done? Great things, for He not only met my need, He allowed me to meet the other woman’s need and we were both strengthened as we encouraged ourselves in the Lord and shared the compassion that is birthed from great pain.
As I seek the Father’s Face, He fills my days with serendipities, a joyous surprise, unexpected blessings, needs filled, graces of beauty and a mending of the heart.
I am seeking His Face and He is showering me with gifts readied for me even before I ask! Truly, I see the Lord’s goodness in the storms of life and I am thankful. Are your eyes and heart open to see the Lord’s goodness in the land where you are living? Abundant, joyous life is available to you in Jesus. Will you allow His Blood to drip red over your life and then live in that place of power and might that has no equivalent?